Into October!

1. Ana and Mama Oksana (as photographed by Dasha)

2. Playing with baloon

3. All alone at the Chinese restaurant

4. Future Flying Wallenda

5. The outdoor market near the courthouse

[Robin]
We are back in our hotel room watching some National Geographic TV show about hammerhead sharks (English translated into Russian). We are seriously hurting for some entertainment. We just got off the phone with Carmen and it felt so good to talk about the Day of the Dead fundraiser for Kidzu rather than the adoption process. I am looking forward to going back to my "real" life.

We spent the afternoon at the orphanage. We spent most of our time outside pushing Dasha and Ana ‘round and ‘round on a carousel. The older kids had all requested some more balloons, so Phil blew a bunch of them up and distributed them, to their delight. They spent the rest of the time pushing the balloons up in the air and then catching them as they descended. They are really sweet and it is amazing how much these little things can make them happy. Dasha is also really a hoot and we played with her and Ana with modeling clay and made plates of clay "food". We spent time instructing both of them how to say different items in Russian and English, which Dasha really got a kick out of.

When we got back to the hotel, the couple from Spain was in the lobby and we were so excited to see them before they left the country. We hugged and wished each other good luck. We were so happy for them; they are going home with their little boy.

Tonight we received a call from our facilitator and although things are still not finalized, we have some hope that the sister may allow things to be resolved this week. We are grateful to even have a little good news. We are going back to Ana’s hometown on Wednesday to talk to her sister in person.

On a lighter note, did anyone read the post by Natalya? The "stern" woman in the Skating with the Stars is a very famous ice skating teacher. We can’t wait to find out who the other contestants are!

[Phil]
Yes, Natalya, can you tell us who the contestants are or provide a link? It seems like the audience and the judges are overly forgiving to the ex-athletes and the older contestants. And then there’s that one judge whose SON is actually one of the contestants! How did that happen?! We need an expert in Russian pop culture to tell us who these people are and who we should root for.

Okay, we’re off to find the mythical Chinese restaurant in Kramatorsk that we have heard about but have never seen. Apparently it’s on "Prospekt Mira" and is not too far from the giant Lenin statue, which is only a couple of blocks from our hotel. We would pay about any price to have some spicy food at this point!

[Tuesday afternoon]
[Phil]
The Chinese restaurant wasn’t too bad, but we were the ONLY people there. We felt a little uncomfortable, especially since there were two waitresses waiting on us. I guess they were bored. We also got upsold a LITER of hot & sour soup. We had enough left over to share with the entire readership of this blog.

We talked to our facilitator today, and he is encouraged about our trip tomorrow. Hopefully the sister will see the bond that Ana already has with Robin. There is no doubt that she considers her her mother. In any case, we are feeling more optimistic than we have in a long time, but keep those candles burning! I will not consider the adoption complete until we are wheels-up on the airplane back home.

Robin has just returned from her shower. The hot water supply is very unpredictable, so you have to seize the opportunity when it arises. I’ll let he describe our trip to the photographer’s studio with Ana this morning.

[Robin]
We went to the orphanage this morning to meet Kostya and found out we needed to take Ana to the photography studio to get her picture taken for her passport (yes, we loved the sound of that!). A representative from the orphanage had to come with us, and so the really nice secretary hopped in a cab with us. It was pretty funny seeing Phil (with his knees scrunched up to his chest), the secretary, Ana, and me all in the back seat. We looked like we were ready for a Chinese firedrill. When we got to the studio Ana wasn’t at all shy about getting her picture taken -- she moved her head around based on what the photographer told her and kind of posed. She’s a ham. When it was finished, she stood with her little hand and foot cocked like a fashion model. The Secretary and I laughed. We didn’t need to go back to the orphanage, so we proceeded to try to put Ana in the car with the secretary and send them off. Ana started to tear up and really didn’t want us to leave her, so we all hopped back in the cab to take her back. We are such softies.

We are now going to get some pictures developed in hopes that we could give these to the sister tomorrow. We both have major butterflies thinking about the meeting. We really hope that it goes well; I guess that goes without saying. We have no idea what it will be like, but I’m really hoping that she asks us questions about how we would care for Ana rather than sit silently and just look at us. It’s unbelievable that we will be traveling in the very same minivan with the same driver, but this time with Ana and a representative from the orphanage along with us. We bought Ana some toys at an outdoor market near here for the long car ride. We also finally got her size(s) and bought her some new tights (yes, Barb, they are very cute!). The outdoor market was the place to be; lots of people were shopping at the various kiosks for everything from detergent to sausages to toys to shovels. It was very similar to the markets in Mexico, except no one was cooking food.

[Phil]
Thanks again for all the comments. We’ll try to check in one more time after the late afternoon visit. By the way, the Ukrainian couple that is going to adopt Dasha was at the orphanage. She was so excited, and had on a cute purple dress. The orphanage secretary came by and told Dasha that her father is really good-looking. The same can be said of the secretary! Spott, we’ll try to bring her home with us as well.

Just Another Monday

1. Ana without the hair ribbons.

2. Vanya (photographed by Dasha). We heard today that a family has chosen him.

3. Robin and Ana on the slide.

4. Ana's customary letting-go of the swing. She seems to have figured out that the centrifugal force will keep her from falling out.

[Phil]
So far it’s been a typical day for us. We slept in a little, stopped by the store to get waters and treats for the kids, walked to the orphanage for the morning visiting hours, and then had lunch at the pizza place. This afternoon Robin has been working and I’ve been watching Russian TV (National Geographic). We’re going to the internet cafe soon, and then we’ll head back over to the orphanage around 5:00.
One piece of good news: I had lost my sunglasses the other day, and it occurred to me that I might have left them at the orphanage. So today I asked Dasha if anyone had seen them. She first said no, but then thought for a second and said that they were in the laundry room. She went back to the building and returned my sunglasses. I owe her many chips and mineral waters for that alone!
[Robin]
We also got a call from our facilitator and it looks like we’ll have some resolution this week. That’s good news for our sanity.
Ana and her little playmates were enjoying the sunshine this morning, playing on the swings, slide, and climbing bars. They have a lot of energy. It looks like one of the little boys from the orphanage has been successfully adopted by the Spanish couple as they weren’t there today. That is great news for that child.
I’ve been reading books in our downtime and have finished off two already: "A Family Daughter" and "Madonnas of Leningrad". They were both well-written, but I liked the latter better as the subject matter (art museum docent trapped in Leningrad during the Nazi invasion) was more interesting to me.

Election Day

1. Waiting for Nastya

2. On the slide

3. Mean skating judge

4. Robin and Nastya walking through the park

5. The boys and Nastya trying to catch me on the swing

[Robin]
It is yet another beautiful day—sunny and probably 75 degrees here. We walked from restaurant to restaurant this morning, attempting to get breakfast after we discovered that our hotel cafй was closed for a party (we think related to the election). It turned out that all the restaurants that we were familiar with didn’t open until 11:00 a.m. We finally settled on buying a bag of potato chips to have something in our stomachs before we started playing with the kids in the orphanage. We also stopped by a children’s store on the way to get some new balloons, since they were a big hit yesterday.
Last night we went with a mother of another one of the prospective adoptees to dinner at a Ukrainian restaurant around the corner from the orphanage. When we walked in, a few couples were dancing to the music from a karaoke singer.
[Phil]
Yes, the "karaoke singer as entertainment" seems to be big here. I also remember it from the Russian restaurant in Houston ("Stoli Grill"). It’s an easy way to have decent musical entertainment at a low cost. Speaking of entertainment, last night when we got back from the hotel we searched the TV channels to find something to watch. To our luck, the Russian version of "Skating with the Stars" was on. I’ll let Robin describe it:
[Robin]
For those of you who watched the American version of this (and I know some of you!), this was the same set-up: celebrities (athletes, actors, singers, etc.) are paired with professional skaters and over several months not only learn to skate, but perform in contests against the other contestant teams. Then they are ranked based on their program by a panel of judges. Their ranking can be helped as audiences can phone in their vote for a particular team. We saw about 10 teams talk about their training and then perform on the ice in front of a screaming audience. Some of the routines were extremely hokey and we had some good laughs as they pretended to be gladiators & leopards, Blues Brothers, or a slave girl and her captor.
[Phil]
Yes, it was pretty amazing how well some of the soap opera stars or former soccer players could skate after a relatively short training period. Speaking of training, there were 2 coaches – one really skinny guy with an amazing mullet, and another more squat fellow with short hair. And then of course there were the judges. I think there were 5 of them. The one we enjoyed the most was a rather severe schoolteacher type, who looked constipated and was at times "very disappointed" or else doled out faint praise. I guess she was supposed to the Simon Cowell type.
[Robin]
With not much to do here, this bit of entertaining TV was really a boost. You can see how sentimental the people are and how much they revere attire with some bling. Phil is really hooked and is hoping it comes on tonight too…next thing you know we will be using our phone card to call in our team choice!
This morning we went to the orphanage and were given permission by the caretaker to take Ana off the grounds. We walked with her through the park and then sat on a park bench and commented on people, dogs, etc. as they walked by. After some time, we pulled out the laptop to show her some pictures. Big mistake. Boy, was she into it and pressing every key she could reach.
[Phil]
In other news, Dasha was caught red-handed with the mineral water that we brought for her. The caregiver asked her, "Dasha, did you ask them to bring this?" She looked at me and didn’t say anything. I told the caregiver that she did ask for it, but it’s no big deal – just a small gift. Dasha helps out so much, the least she deserves is a bottle of water.
Also, this morning, out of boredom, I started swinging on the big kids’ swing. This prompted all the little boys to come running over. One asked me, "Are you big or small?" I said, "I’m a grown-up." Then another said, "He’s big." And one said "He’s the biggest." I looked around and said, "Yes, I am the very biggest." This delighted them to no end. They then proceeded to try to grab my legs every time I swung in their direction. They are easily amused!
[Robin]
The little boys, in particular, are crazy about Phil. He blew up balloons for them and they would all stand in a circle around him screaming "for me, for me". I tried to get a few pictures, they were so sweet. Ana does not seem fazed at all if other kids get our attention. In fact, she tries to share all the candy and things we give her with the others. She is really a generous little soul.
[Phil]
By the way, when we were eating lunch at "Da Vinci" a little while ago, a young man sitting at a nearby table came over to us and asked if we were Americans. We said yes, and it turned out that he is a naturalized American from Denver but grew up in Kramatorsk. He now works for a missionary organization called "Agape" and is trying to work with the orphanages here. He was a really nice guy and told us several times "God bless you" for trying to adopt from here. He reiterated what we already know – it’s a very difficult process and things can go wrong no matter what you do. He gave us the name of his doctor friend that lives here, and told us to call him if we needed anything. Once again, it was another small kindness that we’ve gotten from so many people here.

Playtime at the Orphanage

1. Nastya on the big kids' swing. The man in the beret is one half of the Spanish couple who are adopting a little boy named Danil (the kid in the swing).

2. Nastya drawing. By the way, all the children there have the same matching down jackets.

3. Phil swinging Nastya and one of her boyfriends.

4. The children returning to the building for lunch.

[Phil]
While our adoption petition is making its way through the legal system, we continue to go to the orphanage every day to play with Nastya and her friends. It usually begins with 10-15 minutes on the swing (with the caregiver telling her repeatedly, "Nastya, stop letting go!", and she’ll obey for about 10 seconds, until the caregiver isn’t watching anymore). Then, when we think she might be tired of swinging, we’ll ask her if she wants to draw. She’ll nod, get out of the swing, and march over to the picnic table. She’ll start rooting through our bag and pull out the coloring book.
[Robin]
Each day we’ve tried to bring some other form of entertainment, one day a coloring book and crayons, the next day watercolors and paintbrushes; yesterday, we brought modeling clay. She’s liked all of these activities. However, our offering of the stuffed animals has been met with mixed success. She really liked the bear (mishka), and the baby seal (tyoolen) was a big hit; yet, she didn’t show much interest in the puppy (sobachka) or the lion (lev). We also bought a balloon inflator to make balloon animals that she absolutely thought was terrific. Food is a whole other story. We brought cookies for all the kids a couple of days in a row. On the third day we found out that Nastya got sick on the chocolate ones, so when we asked the caregiver what to bring she said "caramels" (meaning hard candies), so that’s what we brought yesterday.
[Phil]
We’ve also met another American, Coleen, who with her husband is adopting a really cute little girl named Masha. She’s the one in the far left in the photo of the children returning to the building. Colleen apparently has a great apartment for even less than we’re paying for the hotel. We have apartment envy.
There’s not much more to tell right now. We keep exploring the neighborhoods around here for restaurants and cafes, but so far haven’t had much luck. Almost every night we’ve eaten at a Ukrainian/Georgian restaurant called "Premier". We did find a pretty good pizza place, however, so that’s where we had lunch today. Right now we’re sitting at the hotel’s outdoor cafй, watching the locals stroll by on their Saturday afternoon.
[Robin]
Within walking distance of our hotel there are two city parks, a movie theater (showing Harry Potter!), banks, shops, and a large department store/mall with a grocery store on the bottom level. It’s a beautiful day here today and we plan to do a little more exploring on foot. We hope to find another cafй to eat at for dinner. Speaking of dinner, the night before last we were at Premier and they asked us to be seated inside (they have an outdoor area). When we sat down we realized that the music we were hearing was coming from a girl on stage singing along to a karoke machine. She had a good voice and we heard a number of pop songs. No one clapped or even acknowledged her, so trying to mimic the locals, we didn’t either. When our bill came it included a music fee of 10 hryvnya ($2.00).
[Phil]
One more thing: there is no such thing as a laundromat in Ukraine. Since all of our clothes were dirty, I asked the front desk if they had a laundry service. They said no, but that I could talk to Tatyana, the maid for the 6th floor. So I got all of our laundry together, found Tatyana, and asked her if she could do it. She said okay, and I left the laundry and 20 hryvnya by our hotel room door. When we came back later, the laundry and money were still sitting there. I went down the hallway and found Tatyana in the maid’s office. I asked her if she somehow missed our laundry. She said, "I saw it, but it’s a huge amount of laundry! You would need to pay me at least 100!" That’s about $20, but I was basically at her mercy, so I said okay. It really is a lot of work, because almost no one has a clothes dryer; she had to hang out everything to dry.
[Robin]
I ran into her in the hallway this morning and she stopped me to give me the items, all carefully cleaned and folded. We passed a drycleaners on our excursion to the pizza place for lunch today and we are going to price that out next time. One other funny thing before we wrap up this post: At the pizza place today, we saw a set of twin girls, probably aged 10 years old, wearing what can best be described as jeans where the jean material ended mid-thigh on each leg and then off-white cotton material flowed to their ankles like a skirt or large bell-bottoms. The only thing I can think to call them is "pantaloons", but even that doesn’t adequately describe it. This outfit also had matching jean jackets. It was quite an amusing sight.
We had a rather tough day yesterday, sitting and waiting outside notary offices and the courthouse. Today we are just trying to enjoy the weather and Nastya and leave worrying about the other stuff until next week.
[Phil]
To end on a light note, I have to mention that there is music playing everywhere in Ukraine. Even yesterday, as we sat in the chambers of the Head Judge, he had a boombox on his desk playing a cover of "Abracadabra". Everywhere you go there is a radio or CD player playing the same Russian techno-pop. I can’t say I like it (though Robin likes it because it invariably has a disco beat), but we’ll probably end up buying some CD compilation of Russian pop just as a memento of our trip.

Cautiously Optimistic

1. Roadside diesel station.

2. Phil and Kostya asleep in the minibus.

3. Vladislav

4. Dasha, Nastya, and Robin

5. Robin and Nastya

[Phil]
We’ve had a busy couple of days and are just now getting to the blog. We had an unpleasant surprise this week, when it turned out that Nastya has a living relative (a sister). This can affect the judge’s decision on a foreign adoption. We feel pretty confident about our case, but anything can happen. Keep us and especially Nastya in your hopes and prayers. We’re proceeding from the assumption that she will be awarded to us, and we continue to visit her every day. The judge will have the final say in the matter. The hearing could come as early as next Thursday, and of course we’ll keep you posted.
In any case, we’ve really been enjoying visiting Nastya and her friends at the orphanage. The only hard part is that she gets very sad when we leave. Dasha (the seven year old helper) always helps us by telling Nastya that we WILL be coming back tomorrow, and that calms her down a bit. Dasha has actually been invaluable, so whenever she asks me to bring her something, I always do. She’ll say (in Russian), "Papa, tomorrow please bring me a mineral water." Or "Papa, bring a juice box for me tomorrow." Today she wanted to use the watercolors, and I said, "Sorry, Dasha, we left our water at home." She then nodded towards a Spanish woman sitting nearby and said, "Papa, she has water. Ask her." I said, "No, I really don’t want to." And she said, "Papa, there’s a spigot on the building." I said, "Okay, Dasha, go and get some water." She just looked at me and laughed. It’s no wonder that one of the caregivers is adopting her. She is incredibly clever and mature for her seven years.
[Robin]
Yesterday was a really long, exhausting day and we are sorry that we just couldn’t bring ourselves to post on the blog when we got back. We traveled seven hours by car to go to Nastya’s hometown. It was really an experience traveling by car outside the metropolitan area. Ukraine is known as the breadbasket of Europe, and after traveling out of the city we could see why—fields and fields with black, fertile soil. The driver, Vladislav, was really sweet, he showed us pictures of his wife and kids (WHILE DRIVING) and really drove fast to get us there and back. It wasn’t an easy drive; there were very few street signs and he had to stop and ask directions a number of times to and fro. It was also raining which added to the merriment. Phil slept on the way home and good thing because he hates to drive and he would have lost it if he had seen us play "chicken" with a number of trucks along the way. We also saw something that must be noted as one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen: We pulled into a mud driveway off the highway to a rusty shack in a field and a guy siphoned gas with his MOUTH to fill our minivan. We took what pictures we could under the radar. My mouth just hung open at the scene.
[Phil]
Yes, yesterday’s experience was what some people mean when they ask if we’ve seen the "real Ukraine", i.e., outside of Kiev. It really is enormously different. There were these little self-owned diesel stations every 20 miles or so, and Vladislav would only stop at them –never the Lukoils or Exxons or what-have-you. It’s still kind of like the wild west. For example, yesterday I realized that we left our camera’s recharging cord in Kiev. I went to the electronics store nearby, and the guy said I’d have to order it on the internet. This could take a long time of course, so I considered buying a new camera. Kostya met us later and I told him about my problem. He then took me back to the same store (a big store like Best Buy) and told one of the young salesmen my problem. The sales guy went searching around and said that he had this type of cord but couldn’t sell it because it was part of the camera package, but that if we left him my camera, he would recharge it for us. I asked Kostya, "Is he really going to do that?" He said, "Yeah, just give him 5 hrivnya (i.e. $1) or something." I told him, "This is why Ukraine is so great. You could never do that in the States." Sure enough, we showed up a couple of hours later and my camera was recharged. I handed the guy a folded up 10 hrivnya note but he was like "No, no, please." I had to insist. He finally accepted. Is this a great country or what?
[Robin]
My parents said that we were "brave" to come here. I didn’t really think so until we traveled yesterday. The town that Nastya was born in left much to be desired. On a more positive note, the orphanage here in Kramatorsk is a really cute and wholesome place. I went to pick up Nastya during visiting hours today and they had a really nice playroom for the kids. All of them yelled out "Mama" when I arrived (slightly disconcerting until you realize they call all adults this name). Nastya is so grown up that she can put on her own clothes and tie her shoes by herself. In fact, she is rather independent; going up and down the stairs and putting herself on the swing. She has come to expect us, and now when we leave her, she cries. It’s hard to take. Luckily, Phil can say in her language that we will see you tomorrow. Her caregivers are really sweet, and this makes it much easier to deal with this situation. The caregiver remarked on Phil’s command of Russian today and thanked him, because it made it so much easier for her to communicate what Nastya needs and is feeling.
It’s been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and we are just praying that things will work out. We are trying to think positively, and yet we accept that this journey may be a learning experience in itself. Certainly Phil and I are steadfastly sharing this together and this is exactly "in good time and bad."
[Phil]
Indeed. At this point, we just think about how we can make Nastya, Dasha, and the other children at the orphanage happy for one day. If it’s playing with them, bringing cookies, talking to them, whatever – it’s still something. So that’s how we’re trying to look at it.
Again, thanks for all the comments. Your good thoughts keep us going.
[Robin]
As nerve-racking as this process has been so far, I have to say that we remain hopeful. This is in large measure due to the kindness of relative strangers. For example, yesterday our driver, Vladislav, saw that I was upset on the way home. He talked to Kostya after we arrived back in Kramatorsk and apparently told him that if it didn’t work out here that he would try to find us an orphan in another region. It about broke my heart to hear that; tears of thankfulness that the world can be kind and generous.

Autumn Morning at the Orphanage

[Robin]
We arranged to meet Kostya at the orphanage this morning. We had breakfast in the hotel and then walked through their central park and down a tree-lined boulevard to the entry gates. We found it easily, and it was a much more pleasant stroll on a sunny day. We then met Anastasia’s caregiver, who told us that Anastasia had slept with the bear we had given her. Anastasia then came in dressed to go out (hat, coat, etc.), and it turned out that one of the pieces of paperwork that needed to be completed was that she had to be seen by a doctor at an area hospital for a medical check-up. We then walked with the orphanage’s doctor and Kostya to take her to the hospital which was just a couple blocks away. Good thing that it was close; I carried her the whole way and let me tell you—she is solid. Phil had to take over to carry her up the stairs. I apparently will be gaining some much needed arm muscle in the days ahead.
[Phil]
We were only at the hospital for 15 minutes. She apparently got a clean bill of health from their staff. On the walk back to the orphanage, Anastasia pointed and yelled out "koshka!" I turned and looked, and there was indeed a cat walking across the street. A few minutes later she saw a dog and said "sobachka". Once we got back to the orphanage, her caregiver said we could take her out to the backyard and play with her. It rained a lot in the past few days, so the ground was pretty muddy. This didn’t deter Anastasia at all. She first went for the swings. She had no fear at all, and kept swinging higher and higher, letting go of the ropes from time to time. I was sure she was going to fall out, but she was fine.
[Robin]
She then walked from one piece of playground equipment to another. She particularly liked the spinning ones (not a chip off my block here!) and seemed to be quite the daredevil—she wanted Phil to spin her faster and push her higher on almost all the equipment. The only thing she didn’t want to do was to go down the slide, and it wasn’t because she was scared of the height, it was because it was dirty and she saw a bug (neatness in an orphanage is a big deal). The thing that delighted us the most was watching her on a see-saw board where she stood and rocked back and forth. She had a great sense of balance and looked like she was born to surf. We also colored in a coloring book with her and Dasha, another child from the orphanage. She seems to be bonding well with us, as she is happy to have either of us hold her and help her.
We gave the children in her play group some cookies and Anastasia wanted to share hers with Phil and me (how cute is that!).
[Phil]
Once we left the orphanage, we went to a notary and back to the social worker’s office. This took most of the day and involved a lot of sitting and waiting in lobbies. We had to sign an official form stating that we want to adopt Anastasia. We also decided on what her official name will be on her passport, which barring unforeseen circumstances will be "Anastasia Caroline Hammond". The name she is called here is "Nastya", which is a perfectly normal name in Russian but doesn’t translate to English very well. We plan to start calling her "Ana" (Ah-na), which is at least part of her real first name. When she’s old enough she can decide whether to be "Anastasia" or "Caroline" or "Ana".
Tomorrow we need to travel to Anastasia’s home town to meet with the social worker there. We hope to be back in time for the 4:00 p.m. visiting hour.
[Robin]
By the way, since we spent most of the day waiting in one venue or another, we had a lot of time to talk to Kostya about the similarities and differences between Ukrainian and American customs and lifestyles. It was interesting to find out how important notaries are here: they are lawyers who do everything from signing wills to assigning registration of a car from one party to another. One of the more interesting stories to me was that if you want to borrow someone’s car here, it is not that simple; you must sign a power of attorney over to this person to allow them to drive your car and to show that they have gotten your consent.
[Phil]
This explains why the notary offices here are so crowded. It was like being at the DMV. And like the DMV, everyone just resigns himself to the fact that he’s going to be there for a while. I’ll remember to bring a book next time.
Okay that’s all for now. We’ll try to write post again tomorrow night. We loved all the responses to yesterday’s post and are touched that so many people are following our blog and are rooting for us.
Do zavtra.

From Kyiv to Kramatorsk

[Phil]
So we left Kyiv last night at 6:30 pm for the 12-hour train trip to Kramatorsk. We had a private berth, which was a godsend because of all the junk we had with us. We watched the sights out the window until the sun went down and then we watched a DVD on our laptop. We slept off and on all night but felt okay when the conductress knocked on our door at 5:45 AM. We exited the train and were met by a gray day and light rain, i.e., my favorite kind of weather -- I took it to be a good omen. We were then immediately met by Kostya, our facilitator here, who hired a cab and took us to the surprisingly not-bad Hotel Kramatorsk. We have a small suite on the 6th floor. It has a mini-fridge, cable TV (Hour of Justice! Cash Cab in Moscow!), a sofa, large bathroom, and two twin beds. We’ll stay here for at least the next few days but may get an apartment after that. So Kostya then left us so that we could clean up and get some breakfast. He came back at 9:00 AM to take us to the Child Protection Official who had to approve our visit to the orphanage. We walked in the rain to the government building a couple of blocks away and met an attractive young woman who ended up being the Child Protection Official. We brought her some chocolates from Kyiv and she seemed surprised and delighted. We were there for only 15minutes or so before learning we could go straight away to the orphanage, which is located only a few blocks away. I’ll let Robin take over here.
[Robin]
A couple of notes about the train ride: 1) Although they have a dining car, they also have vendors that get on at each stop and call out their wares, for instance, "Pistachios", "Calamari[?]" and "Beer" (we had brought some junk food with us and that had to do for dinner); 2) The train is really slow in comparison to others I have traveled on in Europe and it swayed and bounced over the tracks and stopped at about six other stations on the way to our stop; 3) The berths were the sleeping areas, nothing pulled down or went up, you just snuggled up on a sheet (provided cleaned in a plastic bag) to go to sleep. When we arrived, I don’t know that I was quite so delighted to see the rain when we got off the train. There’s nothing like lugging a bunch of baggage around in the pouring rain. But I guess it was bound to happen, as we have had perfect weather on both trips up to today. When we were walking to the orphanage, it was through a tree-lined boulevard that reminded both Phil and me of Berlin. We went to the wrong building at first and then were redirected to the orphanage one building down. I have to say that I was surprised at how nice it was: a brightly colored playground, trashcans made to look like penguins, and murals of happy faced children on the windows next to the entrance. When we went inside we were seated with the orphanage director and the psychologist. They explained that Nastya was born with a cleft palate and had a non-threatening heart murmur, and did we understand that she is therefore a special needs child? This was not news to us, so we were not dismayed. They went onto say that they are very fond of her and that they cried and cried when the other couple decided not to adopt her. They described her as easy-going, but as a "character" that knows how to protect herself (and her toys). They said she was a little stand-offish, but they felt this showed intelligence. They said she makes efforts to learn and tries very hard with her speech therapist. Lastly, that she is not a crybaby and is easy to play with and well-liked by the staff and other children. Once we said we would like to meet her, they took us to another room where a very officious medical staffer went over her medical history and then the psychologist answered questions about her from us (What does she like to do? Does she play well with the other kids? etc.). Then they asked if we were "ready" to see her and went out of the room. Phil and I were a bundle of nerves. What would she think of us? Would she cry? Would we cry (well, that might just have been me thinking this)? Would she like the stuffed animal we bought her? How should we introduce ourselves?
[Phil]
They came back in and said that they had to change her into different clothes. About 10 minutes later they brought her in. She was very cute! They had her in a red jumper and red tights, and the jumper had a bear on it. The psychologist put her in front of us and told her, "You have some guests." I spoke to her in Russian, telling her hello and that we were happy to see her. Then the psychologist said "Do you want to sit in Mama’s lap?" (nudging her toward Robin). Nastya nodded and sat in Robin’s lap. I told her that we had a present for her, and we gave her a little stuffed bear. They asked if we had any candy. We had bought some in Kyiv but had left it at the hotel. So a staffer ran to get a chocolate that Nastya wasted no time in eating. They asked if we had any photos with us, so we brought out our photo album. This fascinated her to no end. She sat on my lap and I showed her pictures of Lola, our house, our family, etc. I told her that Lola likes to ride in the car. The psychologist asked her,"Do you want to ride in the car with the dog?" Nastya slightly smiled and nodded. I then turned the page to a photo of Julia and Madigan in princess costumes. She let out a delighted sound and grabbed the album from me. I said "Those are your cousins." She turned the pages of the album over and over. She especially loved the pictures of Lola, as most small children probably would. Then they suggested that we color with her. We sat down and a little table and she immediately started taking the crayons out of the box one by one and scribbling/coloring in the coloring book that we brought. The psychologist encouraged her to color inside the lines, and she would do it for a while and then go back to her scribbling. The psychologist quietly slipped out and left the 3 of us there alone.
[Robin]
We were impressed with her interest using different colors and her neatness in putting the crayons carefully back in the box. Then she reached for a ball on the desk and we proceeded to play with her by throwing the ball back and forth to one another. She was very animated and really seemed to enjoy this interaction. She had quite good hand/eye coordination and I think she will make a fine Wiegerink game player. The psychologist returned and was really helpful and continued to try to engage her in games that showed her ability to count and distinguish colors. She also was quite a good "stacker" with the type of toy where you have to put the bigger loops on the bottom and stack up to smaller loops. She really hadn’t said much at this point but then they told her that it was time to leave to get ready for lunch, and she emphatically told them "I don’t want to", which got a real laugh out of the adults in the room. So much for being worried that we would scare her. After she left for lunch they questioned us in terms of how we felt about her. There was a slight delay as we stammered "yes, we really like her." Meaning that this little girl may very well be living the rest of her life with us…what a strange, awesome, overwhelming feeling.
[Phil]
We then went to the Administrator’s office to tell her that we want to start the adoption process. They were thrilled. We will be able to visit her every day between 9:30-12:00am and 4:30-6:00 pm. Kostya advised us to not overdo it with the visiting, since it can be draining after a while. He thought an hour a day would be fine. We’ll go back there with him tomorrow morning and continue the adoption process. Right now we’re going to save this to a flash drive and see if we can post it on our blog (with photos) at the internet cafй in the hotel lobby.
If any of you has our Ukraine cell number, feel free to call us.