Monday Morning Music Exercises

1. Mama Lyuda and Ana's group.

2. Musical Exercises.

3. The vodka aisle at the supermarket. Seriously. That's all just vodka.

4. Dasha's last evening at the orphanage.

5. Ana changing into her Outside Clothes.

[Robin]

It was really cold out this morning (41 degrees) and so it was hard to get out of bed, but we eventually bundled up and hurried down to the orphanage. When we got there they were not outside so we went up to their playroom. When we got into their room, Ana saw us and started crying. Not exactly the warm welcome we had hoped for... but not completely surprising based on her past morning moods. It turned out that the kids were dressing to go down to do "musical exercises." Phil asked if we could join them and watch, and the caregiver said she would ask. We trudged downstairs following the row of little kids holding hands. When we got to the room, a music teacher was seated at a piano. The caregiver spread some colored paper leaves on the floor and then, upon a musical signal, the kids all raced to pick up one leaf from the floor. They then proceeded to do what looked like a set of games/song sets that they all seemed to recognize. Phil was able to film part of it on our camera. The cutest part was when the caregiver held up a paper sun and held a folded umbrella in the other hand. She gave one of the kids a paper thunder cloud. The other kids would prance around to the music until the "thunder cloud" ran toward them and scared them under her umbrella. It was so cute it almost hurt to watch.

[Phil]

Yes, it was very cute and very old-fashioned. I could see the same scene happening in a Soviet kindergarten 40 years ago. We felt very privileged to be allowed to watch it, and we thanked the music teacher profusely.

After that, we decided to go home and have some spaghetti (!) for lunch. We're loving apartment living. We had our home-made spaghetti and watched "Hot Fuzz" (very funny British movie) on DVD as people walked past our window bundled up in their winter clothes. It was bliss.

Later, we headed back to the orphanage to see Ana again and Dasha for the last time. She's being adopted tomorrow, so I wanted to get some video of her last night there. When we got to the playroom, Dasha was all dressed up in a red velvet dress with knee-high white vinyl platform boots. I put the camera on her and asked her what she had to say to all her friends in America. She said, "What friends?" I told her that she had a lot of friends in America, including Seryozha's parents. She seemed caught off-guard by this and just laughed. Meanwhile, the caregiver told Ana to get dressed because Mama and Papa were here.

[Robin]

Ana was in a very good mood this time and promptly got dressed to go out. We got some really cute pictures of her going into her locker and getting her clothes out and dressing herself. She only had to be helped with the shirt snaps at her neck. When we went outside we played on the usual assortment--carousel, slide, rocket. Then we worked on the puzzle we had given her the day before. The hour went by quickly and when it was time to go there weren't any tears just blown kisses and "poka" (see you later).

We went to dinner at Da Vinci since it is fairly close to the orphanage. We watched other people drinking wine and started daydreaming about having a good bottle of wine with a steak when we get back. Oh, my stomach is rumbling just thinking about it!

When we got back, we finally took advantage of the whirlpool bathtub in the apartment. The hot. soapy water was soaking heaven! We really felt like this was one of our best days here.

Oh, before I forget, we also talked to the people at the US embassy today and got the information to help us plan for our trip back to Kiev. We feel confident (dare I say this) that we can get all of our paperwork done within three days, so we are planning to pick our tickets up tomorrow. OMG! we think we will be home on the evening of the 28th.

[Phil]

Yes, that's the date to pencil in, but many things can still go haywire in the next 2 weeks.

There's not much else to tell. Now that we have a 24-hour internet connection, I'm actually taking on some work for the next couple of days, but I still hope to have time to do some shopping with Robin at the Big Market. We basically have to buy Ana an entire new wardrobe. Speaking of that, people have been emailing us and asking if there's anything they can do to help us with Ana. There is, actually, but I'll let Robin explain since she's the expert on this.

[Robin]

Expert--ha! Not hardly. However, after watching the kids at the orphange I have realized that everything in our house is too large for a little girl. For those of you who have asked what we need, I think I can safely say that the following are needed: step-stool/stairs to reach the bathroom sink (and toilet?); playtable and chair set; set of full-size sheets in kid-friendly fabric; toy chest; booster seat to reach the dining room table; kid-sized silverware, plates and cups; kid-sized clothes hamper; rod and hooks for her closet; and a hand-held shower device that we can put into the bathtub. That's probably not all we need, but it's really all I have the sense to think of now. Thanks in advance for any help on these items, we really appreciate the offers!

[Phil]

I guess that's all the news for today. We had better get to sleep soon, as Colleen will be ringing the doorbell early in the AM.

Market Sunday

1. The large market with its stall selling babushka bags and plastic shopping bags.

2. Wall with Soviet-era mosaic tiles near our apartment.

3. Phil swinging Ana around and around. She loves to feel dizzy.

4. Phil and Ana playing a game of "Where's Ana" on the slide.

5. Ana reaching into Phil's laptop bag for a toy.

[Phil]

So today we really wanted to sleep in since actual East European fall has hit here in all its gray and chilly glory. We somehow roused ourselves and trudged over to the orphanage, sneezing and blowing our noses the whole time. Once there, we found all of Ana's group out for a walk and bundled up in ski jackets and toboggans. We got to spend about half an hour with her playing the "Where's Nastya?" game before the caregivers called them in for lunch.

[Robin]

I practically begged Phil to trudge up (the opposite direction from the orphange) to the coffee cafe this morning before going the orphanage. I just couldn't make it without a latte in hand. I should note here that a "large" at the cafe is a "short' at Starbucks, etc. It will make you want to pretend that you are getting another one for someone else just so you can have two.

We walked to the pizza place and then to the large market after the orphanage. There were lots of people out, all carrying their plastic bags. This is an interesting situation. If you want to look like a Ukrainian you must carry a labeled plastic shopping bag filled with your personal belongings. This goes for both men and women. They even sell plastic shopping bags at the marketplace. I took a picture (see above) to illustrate this point. I guess this is a type of status symbol--i.e. that you have the means to buy something in a store.

[Phil]

I think it's more just a utilitarian thing, but it's definitely true that most Ukrainians carry their stuff in plastic bags. And those that don't are very protective of their leather or canvas bags. The way to even partially fit in here is to get one of those "Scotch Whisky" bags from the local gastronom and put all your stuff in it. The Ukrainians will still spot you as a foreigner, because they have a sixth sense for that, but you'll blend in better.

[Robin]

Colleen was laughing about how she/we assume we are like the My Cousin Vinny movie where Marissa Tormei's character says, "I blend". I think this comes after she and Joe Pesci are in a diner and order a "grit".

At the markplace, we successfully tracked down the stall/staff where we had purchased some pants for Ana. They were way too big, probably three inches in length. Phil talked to the ladies and they remembered us and allowed us to exchange them for some smaller pants, without as much as a receipt and having the tags off. There are some great things about Ukrainian and their people-to-people customer/client relationships are definitely one of them.

[Phil]

Yes, I have never seen anyone so happy to take a return. It was pretty great. Then we went to a stall that had all these awesome Puma shoes, but unfortunately none of the cool (i.e., pink) ones fit Robin. Then I searched around for a "Ukraine"warm-up jacket or something like that but had no luck. Maybe in Kyiv... Anyway, after the market, we went to inspect a possible apartment to move into. It really wasn't what we were looking for, so we called Colleen in Kyiv and all agreed to share her Apartment Palace. It will save us all money, and plus we'll get to hang out with a fellow countryman. We all three could not be happier. All we need now is a coffee shop next door.

[Robin]

I don't want to whitewash this--I could not see sleeping in that apartment. Phil had the unpleasant task of having to call the owner of the apartment we had viewed and tell her that we had a change of heart. This was hard to do, especially in another language.

[Phil]

Yes, it was pretty awful. Let us never speak of it again.

In other news, we got some Russian mp3 CD's at the market today, so be prepared for horrible techno-pop emanating from our house when we return. As soon as possible, we're going to turn Ana on to The Pernice Brothers, Otis Redding, Van Morrison, Spoon, etc.

[Robin]

When we went to the orphanage this afternoon a new caregiver was giving the children in Ana's group a walk through the park. We interrupted their walk and this incited some tears from Ana. Suffice to say we tried a number of approaches and we got varying results from her. We think it is very confusing to her to want to be going somewhere with us and also want to be with the comfort of her group. Regardless of this trauma, Dasha can't wait for us to be around and give her attention. We gave her a Tarheel key chain that plays the UNC fight song. She loved it.

After the orphanage, we went to the Ukranian restaurant across the street. There was a large engagement party there and the various members of the party took turns having a professional photographer take pictures of them with what looked like a potted flowering plant. We had a good dinner but were unhappily surprised by the charge. Including the "entertainment fee" the singer it ended up being more than we had in our pockets. We had the option of dining and dashing, but figured we might want our coats which were being held hostage by the doorwoman. Phil had to run up the street to the ATM while I sat at the table trying to look inconspicous.

[Phil]

So tromorrow is Dasha's last day at "Gaidok" and the first day of our week remaining to take Ana to America. Think good thoughts for us and for Dasha, Ana, etc.

If you think coach class is cramped, don't take a bus to Donetsk

1. The Solitary Cyclist. On the road to Donetsk.

2. The bus station in Donetsk.

3. In front of the van that transported us from Kramatorsk.

4. Olga, Nikita, and Kostya in front of the cafe in Donetsk.

5. Olga and Kostya waiting outside of bus to see us off.

6. Mash-up of people in the front of the bus.

[Robin]

This morning we woke up and I made breakfast (real scrambled eggs vs. the version that the hotel makes that was just eggs over hard). We had already gone through the laborious process of closing the apartment's front door (two doors, both with two sets of deadbolts to engage), when we noticed it was cold and gray out. We decided to go back in and pack an umbrella at the last minute and then had to race up the street to take money out of the ATM in anticipation of our trip to Donetsk.

When we arrived at the bus station to my great dismay our bus was actually a minivan. There was also a large line of people outside it and I immediately started dreading the idea of traveling for an hour and a 1/2 in the back of a swaying van. As my family can attest, I have been known to get a bad case of motion sickness in the backseats of cars that have no access to air. We almost bailed on the idea of going to the city in the anticipation of this unfortunate situation.

Fortunately, our sense of adventure prevailed and we managed to load into the van such that we ended up with two seats together and I was in a window seat. Phil got the bad end of this deal because there was no room for his legs and he had to sit sideways. Plus he had a man leaning over him who was carrying sticks of some sort in a plastic bag. Once the seats were filled that didn't seem to dissuade anyone from getting on...no, as long as there was room to stand sideways in the aisle, that was plenty of space.

[Phil]

Yes, when we first got to the bus station, it seemed like everyone in the parking lot turned to look at us. We then sort of uncomfortably stood around and tried to figure out if the small, dirty van was actually our bus to Donetsk. As the minutes passed, it appeared that it was. Meanwhile there were a bunch of vaguely unhappy-looking guys standing around smoking, drinking beer (it was before 11AM), and spitting. I sensed that Robin was out of her comfort zone. I, too, felt like this was a really bad idea. But then we both agreed that it was an adventure, and in the spirit of The Amazing Race, we decided to board the dirty van. Like Robin said, once we got actual seats, everything was pretty much okay, that is if you don't mind Russian electro-pop blaring from the speaker right above your seat. Robin later said that she didn't even notice. I couldn't help but notice, however, especially the song that was about being a dentist in the hospital.

[Robin]

I spent my time looking out the window, we passed a few towns, but mostly fields and fields of black soil or crops. Outside of the cities, it becomes a rural landscape very quickly. I actually saw a guy pulling a bucket up from a well and later a small boy herding a group of cows down a path.

When we arrived at Donetsk, Kostya, his wife, and son were waiting for us. We then took yet another minivan into the main part of the city. This time we were the ones standing and when we first got in, I said "I don't think there is enough room for all of us". But with Kostya's prompting we stepped up and on and some people moved over enough for us to find a handhold. Afterwards, I stood in amazement as the van stopped an additional five times, each time with more people getting on. We were REALLY packed in there like sardines; there was no room in between one person to the next. The idea of leaving some personal space apparently is not a worry here.

[Phil]

Yes, I was pushed closer and closer to a seated young woman who looked annoyed or alarmed each time my coat or messenger bag made contact with her person. Meanwhile, it was really getting hot and crowded in there and I could feel a bead of sweat on my forehead that was sure to fall in the lap of this sensitive girl. I spent the next several minutes simultaneously trying not to bump against her or, god forbid, sweating on her. When we were finally at our stop, I vowed that we would take a cab back to the station, no matter how expensive it was (not much [$4], as it turned out).

So we exited the minibus and headed into an enormous market. I thought the "Big Market" in Kramatorsk was big, but it was dwarfed by Donetsk's. There were hundreds of stalls, tables, and small shops selling mainly CD's, DVD's, books, office supplies, and software. Mainly we looked at books, since Kostya's son was on a quest for some Spiderman comics or books about pirates. Robin and I ended up buying a little puzzle that spells out "Nastya" and a few well-illustrated recipe booklets ("Borsch", "Russian Salads", etc.). Each one was about a dollar. After an hour or so at the market, we went in search of the Arizona steakhouse, but as usual, the guidebook was out of date. Instead, we stopped and had some dessert and drinks at a little cafe near a park. By this time, it was time to return for our 4:30 bus back to Kramatorsk. I was silently praying that it would not be another dirty van.

[Robin]

I ordered apple strudel and hot tea with honey at the cafe. A perfect accompaniment to a rainy day. We had fun getting to know Kostya's family. They are really nice people and their son, who is seven, was very cute--saying thank you, etc. in English to us.

Our minivan back was slightly larger and Phil and I got the first row of seats in the van. Once secured our seats, I went back out and talked to Kostya, Olga, and Nikita until it was time to depart. Nikita made a paper airplane for us and gave it to us as a parting gift (very sweet). They stayed and waved good-bye until our bus pulled out. We remarked to one another that this was another cultural difference--once Americans drop someone off, we are gone... we don't wait for the bus to pull out.

[Phil]

Yeah, I told Robin that I sort of remember from one of my Russian literature classes that the entire family will go out and wait with the departing guests until they have embarked. Only then will they leave the train station, bus stop, etc. It could have also been because Kostya and Olga are exceedingly polite and decent people, which they are. In any case, it really touched us.

The ride back was more comfortable because of the larger size of the vehicle, but they still packed in as many people as possible. The little median/island between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat eventually acommodated 5 or 6 young Ukrainians, who seemed nonplussed about being packed together. There was like an unspoken understanding not to mention how close they were to one another. Robin tried to get a photo, but all that came out was the heads (see above). Another interesting thing about the bus trips is how casual and helpful everyone is, in a very understated way. Someone will say from the back of the bus that he wants to be let off at the next crossroads, and someone will relay that message to the driver, who will then pull over. And people get on and off at all sorts of places that do not appear to be actual stops. They'll just squeeze in, yell out their destination, and pass their money through the passengers to the driver. I never heard anyone say, "Do I look like I work here?!" or anything like that, which I would definitely expect in America.

When we arrived back in Kramatorsk at 6PM there was a steady rain. We stopped in at the apartment briefly and then went to Premier for some soup to warm our bones. We hope that one day we can make Kharcho Soup and Borsch that at least holds a candle to the soups we've had here.

[Robin]

We are looking forward to seeing Ana tomorrow morning and delivering her new puzzle gift. We also got some encouraging news from Kostya that we might be able to accomplish Ana's passport, visa and id, etc., in one business week. I'm almost scared to even say this, as everything here seems to hit a roadblock the minute you think it's smooth sailing. Anyway, if it happens, we will be the happiest people on the plane on the way back.

[Phil]

Yes, if all goes well, we should be back on around Oct. 27th. Cross fingers.

Movin' on Up!

[Robin]

Those of you who grew up in the 70s (fans of George and Weezy) will understand this reference. We moved today from the hotel to Colleen's apartment. Our level of happiness at this event is pretty funny. We call this place the "palace" since it has a real couch, big TV, queen-sized bed, and wonder of wonders, a hot plate! Moving was kind of a pain, as it took two trips back and forth across bumpy pavement with our luggage, leftover fridge items and my flowering plant.

We made spaghetti in the apartment tonight. My only mistake was getting the tomato sauce. They put some funky spice in it and it ended up being kind of sweet. I tried to camoflauge it with some red pepper, but it didn't quite mask it. Needless to say, we ate it and enjoyed not having to go to a restaurant to eat for the first time in almost a month.

[Phil]

Yes, walking down the street carrying a suitcase and a potted plant could not help but make me think of that scene in "The Professional" when Leon and Mathilda were fleeing to a new hideout and she had to carry the beloved plant. Speaking of movies, tonight we finally get to see a DVD on a TV instead of a tiny laptop. Right now, however, we're listening to the ipod stereo while watching "Minute of Fame" on Russian TV. It's basically a more upscale Gong Show. Some of the outfits are fantastic, especially when it's a magic act.

Not much to report on the adoption front. Ana has been really good lately and seems to have shed some of her anxiety (but not all! -- she's a moody one, much like her parents). Yesterday I talked to Lillia, the orphanage psychologist, about Ana's fear about leaving the orphanage. She said that it was completely normal, and that of course we should expect her to miss her daily life and her friends. The caregiver Lydia Alexandrovna also suggested to us that we take Ana away from the orphanage in stages -- first to the gate, then a block away, then to the next street, etc. It makes sense.

[Robin]

After moving and then visiting the orphanage this morning (where we played inside with Ana in their ballroom), we went to the bus station to buy tickets to Donetsk. We are going to travel about and hour and a half south tomorrow morning to visit the largest city in this area. We will meet our translator and his family there. He suggested this as a way to break the monotony of our wait. I'm really grateful for this diversion. Even the orphanage caretaker asked us today if we were getting tired of it. Don't get me wrong, playing with Ana is fun. It's just that it's in the same little playyard and there is only so much that we can do there. We do have a little routine for the slide that illicits some good giggles from Ana. I'll help her climb up (actually she really doesn't want help, but I'll be damned if she falls and breaks her chin/tooth on my watch) and then when she gets to the top she sits and waits before going down the slide. Phil, meanwhile, will stand with his back to her toward the top of the slide and says stuff like "Where's Ana. Is she in the tree? etc." Then while his back is turned, she will try to scoot down the slide as fast as she can. But he always catches her before she hits the bottom and scoops her up and whirls her around. She giggles delightedly the minute Phil grabs her. It does a heart good to see this in action....

[Phil]

Yeah, she loves anything that seems like a game, especially if involves being grabbed and snuggled at the end. That's one reason she loves the "catch me if you can" game with Robin. She'll usually flee to a bench and lie face-down, after which Robin will pounce on her and tickle her while nuzzling the back of her neck and making funny noises. I think she's going to love playing with Lola once she overcomes her fear of animals. Which reminds me -- today in the midst of swinging she stopped and pointed at the ground, shouting. I looked down and saw a hornet on the ground under the swing. I stomped on it repeatedly, until it finally went to insect heaven.

What else to tell... Have we mentioned that we eat at the pizza restaurant (http://www.pizza-celentano.com/) pretty much every day? The waitresses all know us by now and tease us for ordering the same thing every day. Cultural observation: Ukrainians take a LONG time to order. Seriously. The guy in front of me took at least 5 minutes to order for him and his girlfriend. Ukrainians will typically hem and haw and ask numerous questions about the dishes and ask if they can make substitutions. Then the waitress will suggest another item, like maybe a blintz. They'll ask her what kind of blintz, does it come with jam, etc. Then, when the customer finally says "that's all", she'll then repeat the order back to him in great detail, after which he invariably wants to add or remove something. Then she'll repeat it all again. It makes my friend Glenn "No Onions" Boothe's picky-eatingness to shame.

[Robin]

I tried to take a picture of the pizza place staff making a blintz. The average customer seems to order these and desserts more than pizza. These pancakes are filled with fruit or mushrooms and cheese. I like them, but they are no match for pizza slice.

We are shocked and dismayed to find out tonight that the Flying Burritto is closed! How could this happen? We were planning to take Ana there when we got back. Aargh, how I will miss their lime-cilantro salad dressing and chicken enchiladas.

[Phil]

And Margarita Monday! Oh well, if the Flying Burrito is indeed closed, then Ana's first restaurant meal in Chapel Hill will have to be at Pepper's Pizza. I bet she's never even had pizza before. When she took a sip of Fanta the other day, the look on her face was priceless. I don't think there's a lot of food variety at the orphanage, obviously.

Okay, I guess that's all for now. Hopefully we'll have some good photos from Donetsk tomorrow.

It’s Now Sinking In….

1. Colleen and Robin at the Big Market

2. Day 1 and counting

3. Dasha, Ana, and Robin

4. Self-portrait by Dasha

[Tuesday Evening]
[Robin]
We went to the orphanage in the afternoon after the court hearing. Our reception by Ana’s main caregiver, Lydia, was more than I could have asked for, she told us congratulations and did a little hurray sign (two-fisted arm raise). It was such an unlikely move from such a reserved, formal woman. It gave me a very sweet, victorious feeling.
Afterwards, we went to dinner with Colleen at Premier Cafй. The waitress recognizes us now and brought one Russian and one English menu. Unfortunately, all of us are suffering from colds, so it was pretty low-key for a celebratory dinner (no champagne or even vodka all around, more like hot tea with lemon, please). The caregivers are attributing our colds to getting a chill (they dress the kids in parkas when there is the slightest chill in the air). We however, American hippies that we may be, are believers in the mind-body connection., attribute this an outgrowth from the stress. At the restaurant we were serenaded by yet another karaoke singer. Colleen took a video of the singer and the interior of the restaurant and of us saying "we are enjoying the Fall weather" (reference back to the judge’s statement after our trial).
We are starting to let it sink in….we are going to be living in a house with a 4-year old. We need to immediately child-proof our cabinets and start thinking about what scary things she could do to off herself with electrical sockets, etc. Those of you with 3-4 year olds, give us some advice!
We are going to begin working in the English words when we go to the orphanage from now on. We want to prepare her for all these people "speaking funny" right in her face when we get back (this is how I feel, BTW, when I have a whole group of the orphanage kids around me all saying the same words and it just sounds like blah, blah, BLAH! They are thinking maybe if we just say it louder this dummy will understand us). .
[Phil]
By the way, about Lydia Alexandrovna: Once one of the caregivers learns some news about one of the orphans, you might as well take out a billboard ad. It was like one day last week when Robin and I passed a group of very small children in the park whom we assumed to be from the nearby kindergarten. But as we walked passed, we heard them say, "That’s Nastya’s mama and papa." We were like, "Who in the world are they?" Word travels fast around here.
[Wednesday Evening]
[Robin]
It felt like it should be a "sleep-in day". We were both so snoozy this morning, like a hangover from all the stress from yesterday. We pulled ourselves together and got down to the orphanage to see Ana in a good mood. We played on the swings for a while and then Phil pulled out the bubble-maker and all the kids were so excited. They chased around after the bubbles. Lydia tried to instruct Ana on the finer points of blowing bubbles and it was quite cute.
[Phil]
Yes, thank you, Colleen! She brought us the bubble horn from Kiev. Although it was a great gift for the kids, I wish she had brought mama and papa a bacon cheeseburger from the Friday’s on Kreschatyk! I keed, I keed.
In any case, after this morning’s brief visit at the orphanage, we met up with Colleen and took her to the Big Market. We only really saw a small portion of it, but still managed to buy some corduroys for Ana (they ended up being too big), some Pooh-Bear pajamas, some real American TP, and a pretty good sausage link that we split between ourselves.
On the way home, the three of us stopped at the Brooklyn Cafй for a late lunch. The food was pretty good, and it was nice to sit outside on a cool Autumn day.
[Robin]
We walked about six miles today and by the time it rolled around to go back to the orphanage, I confess that I really wanted to just read the Glamour magazine that I had traded for with Colleen (I’ll give you my Newsweek, Salon, two books and some DVDs for your magazines and DVDS… it was bartering Ukraine-style). When we got to the orphanage all the kids were out back in the playground. Ana just really wanted to be held so we showed her some magazines and let her experience the popcorn that Phil had bought for me. To my (our) great dismay, the popcorn we bought at the market turned out to be mushroom-flavored. This is not acceptable. Popcorn should be cheese-flavored or nothing. Right people? We need to protest this indignity! J.K. All the kids (of course) LOVED it and were clamoring around wanting handfulls of the stuff we couldn’t stomach.
[Phil]
It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve had, but I must admit that I’m not a big mushroom fan. I do, however, love the soup here. No matter where you go, the menu will have borsch, kharcho (spicy soup with lamb), or solyanka (hot soup with pickles and meat). I definitely could live off of Ukrainian soup and black bread with butter. So good!
[Robin]
We looked at the calendar today and realized that we are bearing down on the end of the month, with this 10 day wait and then trying to get Ana’s birth certificate, passport and visa. I find it hard to believe that we have been gone for almost a month. Yet, it seems like we’ve been here forever! We saw Colleen’s apartment today and it was awesome. We (Phil!) are going to try to talk to the hotel tomorrow about 1) Getting a room with a queen-sized bed; 2) Trying to get a discount on our hotel room fee.
[Phil]
In any case, we’ve completed day 1 of the 10-calendar-day waiting period. On October 22nd, Ana will officially be our daughter. We can hardly wait.
[Robin]
"I can hardly wait to wait to hold you…." that’s the song on the ipod stereo right now. It’s so fun to sit with our own music (mix of old and new) in our hotel room and be surrounded by pleasant memories. We are counting down the days, but we are cognizant that we are so lucky to have this opportunity to be together and to get to spend so much time with Ana.
Tomorrow we are going to ask if we can take her off the grounds to a nearby park to feed the pigeons. We have to find something to do with this enormous bag of unsalted sunflower seeds that we bought J
[Thursday Afternoon]
[Phil]
For some reason, our blog post from yesterday didn’t make it onto the server, so this one post is spanning a few days.
This morning we tried to take Ana to the main square to feed the pigeons, but on the way there she saw a cat, and as we got nearer to it she got more and more upset. She was in tears, so we turned around to take her back to her group. Instead, Mama Oksana told her that cats are nice and won’t bite, and then Dasha volunteered to go with us (of course!). This time we saw a cat again, but Dasha kind of talked her through it. Still, she cried, and then Dasha asked if she was afraid of feeding the pigeons. She nodded, so we decided to just sit together on a park bench and partake in some chips and apple juice.
[Robin]
We are getting nervous about taking her out of the group setting that she is accustomed to in the orphanage. When she got scared about the cat she really wanted to go back to the orphanage. To make matters more tricky, when Oksana was explaining to Ana that she needn’t be scared of the cat as cats were sweet, etc. she added that dogs are the ones to be scared of as they bite. Phil interjected that we had a dog and that she is a nice dog, but we think we have some work to do to get her ready to see the wiggly, licky mess that we find so adorable in Lola.
Phil helped Colleen to get a ticket on a train again to Kiev (this time he wrote out her request in Russian so she could just hand it to the train teller). We decided to sub-let her apartment this weekend while she is away to save both of us some money. She has a hot plate in her apartment and I can’t wait to cook something for us—it will really be great to eat something spicy (I brought some ground chipotle peppers in our luggage).
Phil was talking to the hotel cleaning staff about our laundry today and they …
[Phil]
And they asked how long we were staying. I said at least 10 more days. They generously offered to find us an apartment because the hotel is so expensive. They went on to say that they wanted to show us that not everyone over here is bad and that, like everywhere else, there are good people and bad people. And they said that they admired us for adopting one of their orphans. It was so sweet. They came back some minutes later with the seamstress who has an office on this floor. She said she has a 2-bedroom apartment near here that we could rent. We’re going to look at it on Sunday.
A digression about Dasha: This morning she was an amazing help to us when Ana was freaking out. She can very calmly explain things to her and bring her back to Earth. I can say things to Ana in Russian, and she understands, but what it comes from Dasha she seems to take it in more. Since we need to start preparing Ana for eventually leaving the orphanage, I told her this morning, "Anastasia, we love you. You are our daughter. Very soon we are going to go to America and live in a house and be a family." She looked at me and said "Nyet". I said, "Everything’s going to be okay. We love you." She just looked very sad again. I then took Dasha aside and asked her to explain this to Ana. She said that she would. Dasha is like our mole inside the orphanage. It’s going to be a big challenge for us after she leaves Tuesday. I’m definitely going to see about getting some contact info from her new parents, since she has been Ana’s best friend here. We’re really going to miss her.
[Robin]
This afternoon we went to the pizza place for lunch and then walked for about Ѕ hour to get to the large market. We were going to try to return the pants we bought yesterday because when we held them up to Ana they were about three inches too long. She’s wide, but short! These were 30s, so she really is about a 26-28. Unfortunately the market stalls were almost all closed when we got there (around 3 p.m), so we will have to go back tomorrow.
We also heard from our translator, and this weekend we are going to venture out on a bus to the largest city in the area (Donetsk) and meet him for lunch. He suggested it as a way for us to break up the monotony. It was really nice of him to offer to meet us there.
[Phil]
Yes, he’s been a great comfort to us. His name is Kostya and we would definitely recommend him (and Konstantin in Kyiv!). Leave us a comment if you’d like more information about them. In any case, I was looking in our Ukraine guidebook today, and it turns out that Donetsk has an American-style steakhouse called "Arizona". I don’t care how cheesy it ends up being, we’re going! I have serious cheeseburger withdrawal at the moment.
[Robin]
Complete aside here—I’ve been dying to post about this and keep forgetting. When we had finished our court case and were standing in the hall waiting for the paperwork to be filled, the "people’s jurors" [2 citizens who can give their comments to the judge and question witnesses, etc.] were also there and were talking to Ana’s sister. They said some things and then everyone (except me) laughed. I asked Phil later what they had said (thinking that nothing was particularly funny about the court case) and he said that the older women were encouraging her to get her education, not get married young, and definitely NOT to marry a Ukrainian man. Ha!
Speaking of a break of humor…. When I had to stand and answer the judge’s questions during the court case, Kostya had to interpret for me. The judge had asked about 10 questions, mostly about my work and ability to raise Ana, and then I thought he asked if I "worked with my husband." I said No (Nyet). There was a pause and then it seemed all eyes were on me. She repeated the question, and Kostya said—She asked if you lived with your husband. Oh, I had misheard him and then said Yes (Da). They all laughed once they realized my mistake. If I were to ever film this scene, I swear I would have put a more witty response in there like "I have never seen this man before in my life." Ha, ha, a little gallows humor.
[Phil]
One of the people’s jurors also cornered me after the hearing and told me that we should also adopt Natasha. It was hard to disagree. I just told her that we hope to sponsor her for a visa, etc. She then reiterated how poor people are here and how we could give her such a better life. There’s no doubt about that. I wish we could take them all (except for this one little boy who drives me up the wall).
[Robin]
That’s all for now. Tonight we are going to explore the grocery store aisles and see if they have anything like taco shells, tortillas, etc. If not, onto Plan B—spaghetti!

Everyone’s a Winner

Photos: Celebrating at the pizza place.

[Phil]
First the good news. No, actually there’s only good news: We won custody of Ana today after a grueling hour-long hearing. After the judgment was announced, I asked for the judge to waive the 10-day waiting period due to Ana’s health issues, but she declined. So now we wait 10 calendar days, starting tomorrow, until the judgment is officially entered and we get to take Ana out of the orphanage. We are tremendously relieved and happy.

[Robin]
The hearing was very nerve-wracking. They called all of us, one at a time, to stand and answer questions posed to us by the judge. Then they made us go outside while they deliberated. When the judge stated that she had granted us custody, I was in shock. I thought for sure she was going to state that she needed to delay the decision or get more notarized statements, etc. After the verdict, we all went out in the hall and there were hugs and tears all around. We then waited for some paperwork to be completed and went collectively over to the pizza place for a celebratory lunch. Phil had bought Nastya’s sister a cell phone this morning, and when he gave it to her on the way to the pizza place the look of joy and amazement on her face was priceless.

[Phil]
Lord, if anyone deserved a present, it was her. She held her ground against some very pointed questions from the judge. She continually insisted that she was not concerned for herself, but for the future of her sister. To make such a mature decision like that at 16 is amazing, especially considering her circumstances. Suffice it to say, we are going to hold some kind of fundraiser when we get back so that we can help her with her future college expenses. And of course we look forward to having her come visit us in the States.
In other good news, Colleen has been allowed to start the adoption process for both of her potential daughters. Sometimes the system does work.

[Robin]
Right now I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. We have to spend some more time here (when she denied our request for a waiver of the 10 days, the judge suggested that we enjoy the Fall weather….), but I’m sure that it will feel different now that we don’t have this trial hanging over our heads. Hallelujah…..sound the church bells! We can’t wait to bring Ana home to see all her many loving supporters.

[Phil]
Okay, we’ll go ahead and post this, because I’m sure some of you are wondering why it’s taken so long. Bye for now.

On the Eve

[Phil]
Tomorrow we have our hearing at noon. That will be 5 AM in the US. I hope it won’t take longer than an hour, so hopefully we’ll have some good news for you by the time you wake up tomorrow. We remain optimistic.
Today we tried to just relax. It was the first real blustery, Autumnal day here, and I think everyone wanted to be indoors. We had a leisurely breakfast in the hotel and then got to the orphanage around 11:15. We started playing with Ana and Dasha, but within about half an hour they called them back to the building for lunch. This was probably a good thing, since babysitting the both of them can be very tiring.

[Robin]
We walked to a nearby outdoor market before lunch. We spent some time looking around the various stalls. Only about half of the kiosks were open, mostly selling canned foods and fresh vegetables. We were thinking about buying Ana a little purse since she was so enamored with mine. Instead, we spotted a Winnie the Pooh backpack and decided that this would be better and could hold her various toys to boot. We bought it along with another toy (a rewritable pad--you can write on this pad with this fake pen and then erase it with a sweep of a button. We don’t know what this is called.)
We had lunch at the pizza place and added to our food repertoire by adding peppers to the pizza toppings order. These little changes keep things exciting—ha, ha.
We spent the rest of the afternoon buying groceries, getting pictures developed and adding more battery power to our digital camera. Phil had to go back to the electronics section of the mall to find the same staff person that had helped us before. His under the table maneuvers consisted of a head nod, the passing of the camera and later a slyly folded and passed 20 hrivnya note. Phil said he felt like a spy. It was a hilariously top-secret exchange.

[Phil]
Yeah, they have numerous people just standing around watching everything, so I felt extremely awkward. In any case, he did recharge it, so now we can take even more pictures of Ana, signs, statues, and food.
One thing Robin wanted me to mention on this slow news night: When we were at the Big Market the other day, we found a great toy kiosk. They had a ton of balloons, including the long, skinny ones you use to make balloon sculptures. These are always a hit at the orphanage, so I asked the shopkeeper for 20 of them. She said that she only had two left at the moment and that in any case you have to have a special pump for them. I said, "Oh, we have a pump. I’ll take the two that you have left." I mean, doesn’t everyone have a balloon animal pump?!

[Robin]
Yeah, we giggled about answer all the way home. Who just happens to be carrying around a balloon pump in their small messenger bag?
I spoke to my sister, Tina, on the phone this afternoon, and it was so great to hear about what has been going on and to talk about some of the stuff we can’t get into detail on in the postings. A special "yay" goes out to my HBC group—glad everyone finished the race successfully. I wish I could have been there (not necessarily for the running part, but for the camaraderie. I miss our Saturday runs and gossip!).
When we went to the orphanage this evening, we picked Ana up in the upstairs playroom. She had to get dressed in her "outdoor" clothes to go the playground with us. She was wearing some of the tights that we bought her and then specifically requested to wear the sweater we also bought her. Made me smile.
We tried to keep away from the other kids and play with Dasha and Ana in a separate area. It is really hard to not feel guilty when we are showering these new toys and clothes on Ana in front of the other little kids. They watch everyone’s movement like a hawk and get really agitated when they are missing out on anything. There have already been enough spilled tears over the balloons.
This evening we met our Kramatorsk facilitator for dinner at a Ukrainian restaurant across from the orphanage. The service took so long that we started to question and then laugh about whose meal was requiring the slaughtering of an animal or the hunting for mushrooms in the nearby park, etc. I ordered chicken in nut sauce, so maybe they were out gathering nuts. Fortunately, it was quite tasty (Bill, I know you love that word!) when it finally arrived.

[Phil]
That’s all for tonight. We’ll post again tomorrow as soon as possible after our hearing.