It’s Now Sinking In….

1. Colleen and Robin at the Big Market

2. Day 1 and counting

3. Dasha, Ana, and Robin

4. Self-portrait by Dasha

[Tuesday Evening]
[Robin]
We went to the orphanage in the afternoon after the court hearing. Our reception by Ana’s main caregiver, Lydia, was more than I could have asked for, she told us congratulations and did a little hurray sign (two-fisted arm raise). It was such an unlikely move from such a reserved, formal woman. It gave me a very sweet, victorious feeling.
Afterwards, we went to dinner with Colleen at Premier Cafй. The waitress recognizes us now and brought one Russian and one English menu. Unfortunately, all of us are suffering from colds, so it was pretty low-key for a celebratory dinner (no champagne or even vodka all around, more like hot tea with lemon, please). The caregivers are attributing our colds to getting a chill (they dress the kids in parkas when there is the slightest chill in the air). We however, American hippies that we may be, are believers in the mind-body connection., attribute this an outgrowth from the stress. At the restaurant we were serenaded by yet another karaoke singer. Colleen took a video of the singer and the interior of the restaurant and of us saying "we are enjoying the Fall weather" (reference back to the judge’s statement after our trial).
We are starting to let it sink in….we are going to be living in a house with a 4-year old. We need to immediately child-proof our cabinets and start thinking about what scary things she could do to off herself with electrical sockets, etc. Those of you with 3-4 year olds, give us some advice!
We are going to begin working in the English words when we go to the orphanage from now on. We want to prepare her for all these people "speaking funny" right in her face when we get back (this is how I feel, BTW, when I have a whole group of the orphanage kids around me all saying the same words and it just sounds like blah, blah, BLAH! They are thinking maybe if we just say it louder this dummy will understand us). .
[Phil]
By the way, about Lydia Alexandrovna: Once one of the caregivers learns some news about one of the orphans, you might as well take out a billboard ad. It was like one day last week when Robin and I passed a group of very small children in the park whom we assumed to be from the nearby kindergarten. But as we walked passed, we heard them say, "That’s Nastya’s mama and papa." We were like, "Who in the world are they?" Word travels fast around here.
[Wednesday Evening]
[Robin]
It felt like it should be a "sleep-in day". We were both so snoozy this morning, like a hangover from all the stress from yesterday. We pulled ourselves together and got down to the orphanage to see Ana in a good mood. We played on the swings for a while and then Phil pulled out the bubble-maker and all the kids were so excited. They chased around after the bubbles. Lydia tried to instruct Ana on the finer points of blowing bubbles and it was quite cute.
[Phil]
Yes, thank you, Colleen! She brought us the bubble horn from Kiev. Although it was a great gift for the kids, I wish she had brought mama and papa a bacon cheeseburger from the Friday’s on Kreschatyk! I keed, I keed.
In any case, after this morning’s brief visit at the orphanage, we met up with Colleen and took her to the Big Market. We only really saw a small portion of it, but still managed to buy some corduroys for Ana (they ended up being too big), some Pooh-Bear pajamas, some real American TP, and a pretty good sausage link that we split between ourselves.
On the way home, the three of us stopped at the Brooklyn Cafй for a late lunch. The food was pretty good, and it was nice to sit outside on a cool Autumn day.
[Robin]
We walked about six miles today and by the time it rolled around to go back to the orphanage, I confess that I really wanted to just read the Glamour magazine that I had traded for with Colleen (I’ll give you my Newsweek, Salon, two books and some DVDs for your magazines and DVDS… it was bartering Ukraine-style). When we got to the orphanage all the kids were out back in the playground. Ana just really wanted to be held so we showed her some magazines and let her experience the popcorn that Phil had bought for me. To my (our) great dismay, the popcorn we bought at the market turned out to be mushroom-flavored. This is not acceptable. Popcorn should be cheese-flavored or nothing. Right people? We need to protest this indignity! J.K. All the kids (of course) LOVED it and were clamoring around wanting handfulls of the stuff we couldn’t stomach.
[Phil]
It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve had, but I must admit that I’m not a big mushroom fan. I do, however, love the soup here. No matter where you go, the menu will have borsch, kharcho (spicy soup with lamb), or solyanka (hot soup with pickles and meat). I definitely could live off of Ukrainian soup and black bread with butter. So good!
[Robin]
We looked at the calendar today and realized that we are bearing down on the end of the month, with this 10 day wait and then trying to get Ana’s birth certificate, passport and visa. I find it hard to believe that we have been gone for almost a month. Yet, it seems like we’ve been here forever! We saw Colleen’s apartment today and it was awesome. We (Phil!) are going to try to talk to the hotel tomorrow about 1) Getting a room with a queen-sized bed; 2) Trying to get a discount on our hotel room fee.
[Phil]
In any case, we’ve completed day 1 of the 10-calendar-day waiting period. On October 22nd, Ana will officially be our daughter. We can hardly wait.
[Robin]
"I can hardly wait to wait to hold you…." that’s the song on the ipod stereo right now. It’s so fun to sit with our own music (mix of old and new) in our hotel room and be surrounded by pleasant memories. We are counting down the days, but we are cognizant that we are so lucky to have this opportunity to be together and to get to spend so much time with Ana.
Tomorrow we are going to ask if we can take her off the grounds to a nearby park to feed the pigeons. We have to find something to do with this enormous bag of unsalted sunflower seeds that we bought J
[Thursday Afternoon]
[Phil]
For some reason, our blog post from yesterday didn’t make it onto the server, so this one post is spanning a few days.
This morning we tried to take Ana to the main square to feed the pigeons, but on the way there she saw a cat, and as we got nearer to it she got more and more upset. She was in tears, so we turned around to take her back to her group. Instead, Mama Oksana told her that cats are nice and won’t bite, and then Dasha volunteered to go with us (of course!). This time we saw a cat again, but Dasha kind of talked her through it. Still, she cried, and then Dasha asked if she was afraid of feeding the pigeons. She nodded, so we decided to just sit together on a park bench and partake in some chips and apple juice.
[Robin]
We are getting nervous about taking her out of the group setting that she is accustomed to in the orphanage. When she got scared about the cat she really wanted to go back to the orphanage. To make matters more tricky, when Oksana was explaining to Ana that she needn’t be scared of the cat as cats were sweet, etc. she added that dogs are the ones to be scared of as they bite. Phil interjected that we had a dog and that she is a nice dog, but we think we have some work to do to get her ready to see the wiggly, licky mess that we find so adorable in Lola.
Phil helped Colleen to get a ticket on a train again to Kiev (this time he wrote out her request in Russian so she could just hand it to the train teller). We decided to sub-let her apartment this weekend while she is away to save both of us some money. She has a hot plate in her apartment and I can’t wait to cook something for us—it will really be great to eat something spicy (I brought some ground chipotle peppers in our luggage).
Phil was talking to the hotel cleaning staff about our laundry today and they …
[Phil]
And they asked how long we were staying. I said at least 10 more days. They generously offered to find us an apartment because the hotel is so expensive. They went on to say that they wanted to show us that not everyone over here is bad and that, like everywhere else, there are good people and bad people. And they said that they admired us for adopting one of their orphans. It was so sweet. They came back some minutes later with the seamstress who has an office on this floor. She said she has a 2-bedroom apartment near here that we could rent. We’re going to look at it on Sunday.
A digression about Dasha: This morning she was an amazing help to us when Ana was freaking out. She can very calmly explain things to her and bring her back to Earth. I can say things to Ana in Russian, and she understands, but what it comes from Dasha she seems to take it in more. Since we need to start preparing Ana for eventually leaving the orphanage, I told her this morning, "Anastasia, we love you. You are our daughter. Very soon we are going to go to America and live in a house and be a family." She looked at me and said "Nyet". I said, "Everything’s going to be okay. We love you." She just looked very sad again. I then took Dasha aside and asked her to explain this to Ana. She said that she would. Dasha is like our mole inside the orphanage. It’s going to be a big challenge for us after she leaves Tuesday. I’m definitely going to see about getting some contact info from her new parents, since she has been Ana’s best friend here. We’re really going to miss her.
[Robin]
This afternoon we went to the pizza place for lunch and then walked for about Ѕ hour to get to the large market. We were going to try to return the pants we bought yesterday because when we held them up to Ana they were about three inches too long. She’s wide, but short! These were 30s, so she really is about a 26-28. Unfortunately the market stalls were almost all closed when we got there (around 3 p.m), so we will have to go back tomorrow.
We also heard from our translator, and this weekend we are going to venture out on a bus to the largest city in the area (Donetsk) and meet him for lunch. He suggested it as a way for us to break up the monotony. It was really nice of him to offer to meet us there.
[Phil]
Yes, he’s been a great comfort to us. His name is Kostya and we would definitely recommend him (and Konstantin in Kyiv!). Leave us a comment if you’d like more information about them. In any case, I was looking in our Ukraine guidebook today, and it turns out that Donetsk has an American-style steakhouse called "Arizona". I don’t care how cheesy it ends up being, we’re going! I have serious cheeseburger withdrawal at the moment.
[Robin]
Complete aside here—I’ve been dying to post about this and keep forgetting. When we had finished our court case and were standing in the hall waiting for the paperwork to be filled, the "people’s jurors" [2 citizens who can give their comments to the judge and question witnesses, etc.] were also there and were talking to Ana’s sister. They said some things and then everyone (except me) laughed. I asked Phil later what they had said (thinking that nothing was particularly funny about the court case) and he said that the older women were encouraging her to get her education, not get married young, and definitely NOT to marry a Ukrainian man. Ha!
Speaking of a break of humor…. When I had to stand and answer the judge’s questions during the court case, Kostya had to interpret for me. The judge had asked about 10 questions, mostly about my work and ability to raise Ana, and then I thought he asked if I "worked with my husband." I said No (Nyet). There was a pause and then it seemed all eyes were on me. She repeated the question, and Kostya said—She asked if you lived with your husband. Oh, I had misheard him and then said Yes (Da). They all laughed once they realized my mistake. If I were to ever film this scene, I swear I would have put a more witty response in there like "I have never seen this man before in my life." Ha, ha, a little gallows humor.
[Phil]
One of the people’s jurors also cornered me after the hearing and told me that we should also adopt Natasha. It was hard to disagree. I just told her that we hope to sponsor her for a visa, etc. She then reiterated how poor people are here and how we could give her such a better life. There’s no doubt about that. I wish we could take them all (except for this one little boy who drives me up the wall).
[Robin]
That’s all for now. Tonight we are going to explore the grocery store aisles and see if they have anything like taco shells, tortillas, etc. If not, onto Plan B—spaghetti!