Saying Goodbye to the Caregivers

1. A view of the front of the Kramatorsk hotel--our first lodging.

2. Ana showing off her balloon crown.

3. Our favorite act from a Russian TV show--Minute of Fame.

4. Ana measuring a plastic puppy dog.

5. Phil on the way to the orphanage this morning. Beautiful misty landscape.

6. Sleepy puppies for sale at the market.

[Robin]

We went to the orphanage this morning with presents for two of Ana's caregivers -- Lydia Alexandrovna and Mama Oksana. It was a beautiful fall day. We enjoyed being outside with the kids: playing soccer, making suns with sidewalk chalk, and chasing the kids around the play yard. Lydia took one of those long balloons that Phil had blown up and made a crown for Ana. It was super cute. She pranced around in it all morning. Then we got out the measuring tape and tried to get a better idea of the size of Ana's coat. She obliged and then wanted the measuring tape for herself. She then walked around measuring everything--kids, the bench, the truck, the plastic dog. We had a hard time getting her to give it back to us when it was time to go inside.

[Phil]

Yes, and at the end of the playtime I asked Ana to please give the tape measure back to me. She said "Nyet" and then tried to walk away with it. Lydia Alexandrovna then stopped her and told her nicely to give it back to me, which she immediately did. As we were saying our goodbyes, Lydia said that she had one piece of advice for us: "Ana is very smart. You need to make sure that she does what you tell her. If she senses any weakness in you, she will exploit it". No kidding! Anyway, it was nice to say our goodbyes to Lydia and Oksana and give them a small gift for all they've done for us and Ana.

[Robin]

I wanted to be sure to post this at some point, lest people think that we haven't found things we will miss when we get back. There are some food items that are MUCH better here including: yogurt, ice cream, chocolate, Fanta, vodka, and the inexpensive kids' tights and DVD selections.

Now, getting back to the daily update: When we left the orphanage, we went to eat lunch (at the Pizza place, again!). On our way to meet Colleen at the apartment, we stopped by the kids' store nearby and exchanged the too-small red hat that we had bought for a much larger blue/white hat. The lady was very gracious and helped us to find a larger one--no sales slip needed. I made Phil say 'She has a big head" (about Ana, not me!). We giggled about this crazy translation all the way back.

After a little rest, we all walked up to the large market. Phil and I were on a mission to find a winter coat for Ana. We past all these vendors selling kittens and puppies. They were contained in buckets and boxes. They were so cute it hurt to look---what will happen to these animals? There are SO many stray cats and dogs roaming the streets as it is....

Once in the market, we searched through several stalls that had coats and finally settled on a Carolina blue one (big surprise, right?). It says 'Bob" on it. We don't know what this means but that makes it more ridiculously sweet.

When we returned from the market we stopped by the grocery and bought our dinner from the deli case (potatoes with mushrooms and onions, chicken cordon bleu). We also spoke to our facilitator about this week's plans and he seems to think we are on track to leave on Sunday (fingers crossed).

[Phil]

Also, when we were at the market, we bought a very awesome soccer ball for Ana's group. It has the symbols and names of all of Ukraine's Premier League teams on it. I keep looking at it wanting to take it home myself. If we have time on Tuesday, I may have to go back to the market and get another one.

Speaking of soccer, this morning I mostly kicked the ball with the new girl, Anya. She looks like she's around 6 or 7, but she's definitely developmentally delayed. For example, one of her shoes was untied and kept flying off her foot when she would kick the ball. Finally, Lydia told her to tie her shoe. I watched her try, but she couldn't do it. It typically blunt East European fashion, Lydia said, "Anya, you're a big girl. You should be able to tie your shoes." It was very distressing. These kids need one-on-one attention, and despite the best efforts of the caregivers they will not get it in an institution. Wouldn't one of you like a little Anya or Danil or Vova in your house?

No, it's a huge decision to make, and the caregivers have definitely been doing the hard-sell on us to take a boy home as well "because Ana doesn't play soccer". We just laugh and say, "It's not that simple." But it really is hard to see these kids without parents. Almost every day after the orphanage morning visit, we go to the pizza place for lunch. It's a popular family destination, and we invariably see young children there with their families. They look just like the kids at the orphanage. It's somehow jarring. There's such a stark difference in futures between these groups of children. Like Konstantin has told us, the outlook for the orphanage children in Ukraine is very bleak indeed.

Sorry to digress on such a bummer of a topic, but it's hard to ignore here. In some GOOD news, however, we definitely think we're approaching the finish line. We should be in Kiev Wednesday morning. And the most important thing is that tomorrow morning at 8AM we'll recive the official court ruling making Ana our daughter. Everything after that is just logistics. Yay.

[Robin]

Speaking of a bummer, Colleen showed us some pictures from an older kids' orphanage for kids with special needs (cleft palate would be one of these). Afterwards, I almost wished she hadn't shown us the pictures. It was heartbreaking. I think back on when we applied for a "healthy child under 3 years of age." We had no idea of the need here. It's a personal decision, but I really can understand now how people can come back with more than one child, and especially kids with medical needs. As Colleen said, you can't just hope the next person in line will be willing to help these kids--no, you have to realize that you may be the end of the line for these kids.

I had a great call tonight with Phil's Mom and then my sister, Tina. How nice it is too hear these voices of cheer here in Ukraine. We know so many people are counting down the days with us and this is a real support line.

[Phil]

Yes, there are a lot of good things in our lives, including our dreams. I'm a sleep-talker, much to Robin's amusement, and early this morning she awakened me while I was in the middle of blurting out some nonsense. I promptly told her that she had just interrupted one of the greatest dreams ever, in which Carolina was beating Dook with a roster of unheralded Freshmen and Coach K was on the sidelines screaming at the refs while wearing a plaid leisure suit. The last thing I remember was me and my high school friend Calvin heckling Coach K while eating delicious french fries. I ask you, does it get any better than that?

[Robin]

Tina and I talked about it being the start of the basketball season when we return--yippee! I told her about Phil's dream and she laughed with me. Right now we are listening to beach music ("Let Me Down Easy")--you just can't get the Carolina out of us, even in Ukraine.

We're about to watch a DVD of "Flight Plan". This was our only option since our "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" DVD that we bought at the market (for $5) has language choices of Russian and Dolby Russian. Not gonna work for me.

[Phil]

Well, the good news about "Flight Plan" is that much of it was shot in Berlin, so we'll hopefully see some familiar sights.

I think that's all for now. We need to go to bed pretty soon so that we can get to the courthouse at 8AM tomorrow to meet Kostya and start the final proceedings.